Watching Me Burn.

listening to: four in the morning - gwen stefani.
reading: the true history of kelly and the gang.
watching: nothing.
eating: air.
drinking: fanta spider.

it was all so sudden. i just couldn't fathom it.
i was going to see your face in a week, your laugh would be right there, your smile, your tiny hands and your freckles directly beside me, linking arms and whispering, just like how i remember it.
it was already a bad day, i was already disoriented.
and suddenly it appears. the message on that social networking site. the most random occurance. the most brutal and direct confrontation that i had experienced since march this year.
there was your schoolID, looking at me with those same freckles and smile, but you were a ghost.
it was your mother. and she had come to be the bearer of bad news.
now it's united all our friends, together we stand, but we've all fallen separate.
nobody knows how to deal with it. knowing you won't be there anymore to shed light on situations.
all i can think about was the last thing you said to me. you were so right. i was so wrong.
wrong for not having seen you sooner. just one last time.
i wanted to hold you one last time, your cuddles were always the greatest.
even though you're gone now, i am positive that you will always be there in spirit.
i think of you every time i bust open a bag of rice wheelies.
you are in the palm of his hand now, babe.

i will never forget you.