Put Your Money Down.

listening to: save our town - philadelphia grand jury.
reading: john - cynthia lennon.
watching: my dad drink his fourth beverage.
eating: air.
drinking: air.

all the best things fall to p-i-e-c-e-s, there's no point stopping now.

as peaceful and optimistic as that lyric is, i still can't help but wonder what my life (or everyone's life really) would've been like had the best things bothered to stay together. i mean, i can imagine there would probably be some sort of unethical balance in the way that "fairness" was dished out, because there wouldn't be anything wrong happening with the world, because everyone would be satisfied with their life. but little things, only sometimes, in the rare moments that i'm alone and still, and have a clear head purely for my own thoughts, i think on these things.

the littlest things that take me there.

i remember your nose wrinkling when it itched, biting your bottom lip just after you laughed, your monotone when you read the crab that played with the sea to me. and sometimes, only sometimes, i remember the day when we sat under the big whistling tree near gregory the duck, and the sky met the trees in this hushed, muted colour that i don't even think i can accurately describe in words, and your hair was soft in your eyes, and my palms were awkward and sweaty as per the usual, and you grabbed my chin and whispered something to me, with a small grin i could see with my peripherals, and i got thinking about that particular moment, and a very large part of me wanted to erase that, or at least make it so it never happened.

i've been thinking also, about my place in the world. what is it about skills? i don't really have a special talent. i have a few that put together, i don't think really resemble an apt compilation of things that i could use in a career. but then again, if anybody knows of job where you specifically need to: remember at least 80 phone numbers of friends in your head, can crack your right big toe continously, quoting almost every line from every sci-fi you've ever heard of, and can laugh at something sadistic like a little boy falling down the stairs, please don't hesitate to inform me. i may need to know about it to support myself in the future.

but basically what this all comes down to is:

those best things should probably purchase some adhesive, so they stop falling to pieces.

my autism quotient is 29. and i wasn't even baked.
good to know that i'm also mentally retarded. :)